Wee hours of the night.

A team of burglars zeroes in on their target.

They are at the front door.

The boss takes some measurements, makes some calculations as the team waits for his command.

“Here… exactly here… blunt medium… wet cover… five stones”

One of the assistants takes something like a metal block from his rucksack, covers it with a wet towel, comes to the door, swings it and…

Nothing happens. Boss is shocked… so is his team.

Boss takes some more measurements, makes some more calculations…

“Oh my mistake! not there… here… exactly here… blunt medium… wet cover… seven stones”

“But boss…”  the apprentice was trying to say something.

“Shut up you !@#$”

The assistant swings the tool covered with wet towel once again over his head…

Boss is upset.

More measurements…. more calculations…

“Boss! What exactly we…” the apprentice again, but he was not allowed to complete. A senior team member stuffs a roll of cotton into his mouth.

“Here… no no no… here… one minute… here… exactly here!… Seven not enough… this is Burmese Teak… I thought it was Indian… see the grains!… Misleading!… Seven is not enough … blunt heavy… wet cover … twelve stones… no no no ten stones” boss shows signs of panic.

The assistant swings the tool over his head… he is sweating now and he forgot the wet towel and the tool slips, misses the target and lands on a glass window nearby.

Enough noise to wake up the entire neighborhood!

Later, at a cell in the police station…

“Boss, what exactly we were trying to do?”

“Where?”

“In front of the door!”

“Rooney dear where this kid is from?!… Straight from his mother’s womb?… We were trying to wake up those inside!… Is it okay?”

“That is by Lewis!… A crazy carpenter from South… it is a sliding door, not common in this part! You have to use a pry bar!”

I don’t remember what happened afterwards… I heard this story long ago…

Last week I was working on a Miata on a strange complaint at a location far away from my base. I had with me an electrician, a new recruit, who was breathing Jaguar and BMW. He worked with a specialist in European brands for five years before joining us.

“Javed will just tell me what to do… how to do it, I will decide… he will never say do that… do this…” I overheard him telling to another technician. Javed is his ex boss.

Driving back home in the wee hours of that night, through ghost infested mountain passes, I remembered the story of the team of burglars and at once decided to make it the theme of my next post.

Advertisements